I am within spitting distance of this semester’s end. No more Dr. Sunshine. No more getting up at 2:30 in the afternoon to make my 4 o’clock class after working until 8:30 that same morning (and then going back into work for another 10 hour shift). No more going 36 hours without seeing Christine. Two more papers stand between me and the home stretch for this degree. And for the life of me I cannot push myself to finish them.
I don’t really know why this inertia has settled on me, although I have some guesses. Part of it may be knowing that I have to take a summer elective that will start about two weeks after the spring semester ends.
Part of it may be knowing that next year I will have to do my final internship. This will entail 21 hours a week (location to be determined; when I know, you will know). “But wait,” the observant reader interjects, “don’t you have to work?” Why yes, I do. How will I accomplish this? By working every Friday and Saturday night as well as two nights during the regular week. With the exception of the occasional holiday, I will either be at my paying gig or my internship. I am looking down the wrong end of a school year without a day off.
Part of it may be that due to our current non/maybe recession, I may graduate next year into…the same job I have right now. It’s a sweet gig for a student, but I have already had enough and I want out; no more night shift and preferably, no more shift work at all.
Part of it may be that my brother-in-law Steve sent me the artist line-up for this year’s Austin City Limits Music Festival and it looks fantastic. Of course, it’s in September; right after I start my internship.
I shouldn’t whine, I know. Many people who would love to attend graduate school never get the chance to do so. My wife has never, ever complained about the sacrifices she has had to make, first dating and then being married to a student. Although I am not crazy about my job, I was lucky to get it when I did for a number of reasons.
But I wish sometimes that I had all of this behind me. I wish that I had not sunk 10 years into the wrong line of work (for me) when I was younger. I fear that I am teetering on the edge of burnout. Any suggestions for coping would be welcome at this point.