And Another Thing…



 As a rule, I’m not a big fan of bumper stickers; I don’t really care about the politics, religious beliefs, honor students, or grandchildren of those whom I happen along while driving from Point A to Point B. Furthermore, I feel safe in assuming that none of my fellow travellers on the open road care about mine either.

This morning while driving home from work I came across a vehicle that had four bumper stickers pasted to its back end. What stuck out for me was how strange those particular bumper stickers looked on that particular vehicle. Below I will tell you what they said, and as I do I want you to imagine what kind of car you would see such things on. Then click  at the bottom for the “big reveal.”

The top left sticker: “I’m speeding because I really have to poop” and featured a nice little artist’s rendition of said product.

The bottom left sticker: A drawing of a hand giving the finger next to a large letter “U” in collegiate font. Get it? Isn’t it clever?

The top right sticker: a slogan so crude that consideration for my female readership prohibits me from repeating it.

The bottom right sticker: “I don’t have an attitude problem, you’re just an ___hole.”

Now what sort of vehicle would you expect to see these kinds of stickers on? Hold that thought and click on “rest of entry”  below..


Yeah, that’s right: the owner of a Toyota Yaris wanted us to know how radical and cool he is.  Aren’t you impressed?

I am not being elitist. Like most working people my guiding principle in spending money is not “What do I want?” but “What can I afford?”. Regardless, I think that if you are going to paste obnoxious bumper stickers on your car to show everyone you have “attitude” you should be driving a car with an attitude. With all do respect to Toyota and their consumers, the Yaris just doesn’t cut it.


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13 Responses

  1. David B says:

    A few years ago Dodge came out with those PT Cruisers which I suppose they wanted to be considered retro-cool. You know who I see driving 95% of those things? Women over the age of 60, and half the time they have a license plate like “GRNYSPT” OR “COOLRDE”. I suppose it goes to show that not only middle-aged men in crisis and self-righteous youngsters are not the only ones to overcompensate.

  2. preacherman says:

    I am so glad I found your blog finally.
    I really enjoyed it alot.
    I enjoyed this post, excellent brother.
    I have added you to my favorites.
    I am looking forward to reading your blog on a regular basis now. 🙂

  3. Trey Morgan says:

    I would never put a bumper sticker on one of my cars, but I actually enjoy reading them on other cars. It makes you wonder what kind of person would be driving.

    I saw a car that had in one corner of the back windshield a “peeing on” something sticker. On the other corner it had a little man kneeling at a cross. I thought which is it? You gonna pee on people or kneel at the cross?

  4. odgie says:

    Trey wrote: “…which is it? You gonna pee on people or kneel at the cross?”

    Talk about incongruity!

  5. Kelly says:

    I have bumper stickers all over the back of my car. All but one are music stickers, and I often see in my rear-view mirror people pulled up close behind me, on the highway, craning over their hoods, checking them out. The only one that is on there that is remotely political is a “No War” with a smiley face, and if that makes you angry then you have issues. I figure, a couple of bucks to advertise a favorite band is cool, but all the really angry stickers you see tend to get on my nerves. I am so sick of seeing that Calvin-rip-off peeing on things that it makes me want to scream when I see them! The other one that bothers me is stupid license plates. I mean, something truly funny or original is one thing, but when you see someone who has some cute way of telling you on their license plate what kind of car they drive, when you can plainly see what kind of car they drive because the license plate is ON THE CAR… And they pay a yearly fee to show the world how stupid they are… It boggles the mind.

  6. I love this post! Bumper stickers annoy me, too! Anything my kids accomplish should be on their bumper stickers before mine!
    I once thought of buying a bumper sticker that said, “I brake for Penguins!” with a cute penguin on the back, but only people who know I taught the Patient Penguin class at Stepping Stones would get it. Once, I was driving my former neighbor’s huge white van. She was pro-life, as I am, but unlike me, she plastered her beliefs all over the back of her van. I forgot that when I borrowed her van. I had her kids, (3), my kids (4) and a few other kids in the van, and we were driving back from Bull Run Park. People kept honking at me and holding thumbs up or making faces. I realized I had about ten kids in a van that had stickers that said things like, “Your momma was Pro Life!” I made some kind of statement driving all of those kids around in that van, but I’m not sure what kind of impact I had on my fellow drivers. 🙂

  7. odgie says:

    It’s not that bumper stickers bother me so much as I often wonder, “What’s the point?” Is seeing a bumper sticker on my vehicle going to change somebody’s politics or religion? I doubt it.

    Kelly, you are right about the vanity plates, especially ones that have a cute way of telling you what car they are on.

    I guess what really motivated me to write this post was the fact that the driver of that Yaris decided to waste time and money solely for the purpose of insulting people. While it would be stupid to take it personally, I can’t help but wonder how many people see those stickers after having a bad day or driving in hellaceous traffic (a hazard of life in this area)? It’s just one more little shot at civility.

  8. rollerpimp says:

    I was wrong, I thought it would be an H2. A Yaris though makes it hilarious. What an idiot.

  9. mattdabbs says:

    Last week I saw two interesting ones. The first was a H2 that had this clever license plate – H2.

    Then I saw a guy on a motorcycle that had a HUGE tattoo of a hand giving the finger on his back as he weaved in and out of traffic going over 100 mph on I-275. That even saves some calories as he doesn’t even have to raise his arm to insult the people he cuts off.

  10. odgie says:

    Matt: Your biker sounds like a classy guy. Thanks for coming by.

  11. Sorry dude. I didn’t know they were so offensive to you. I’ll take them off.

  12. Kelly says:

    Big White Hat, what offensive material do you have to remove, and from where? Bumper, license plate, or tattoo? Or do you have a little Calvin pee-pee boy?

  13. odgie says:

    Big White Hat: Good one!

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