They are not something most of us pay any attention to. However, today in the store, while I was looking down at a book in my hands, I couldn’t help but notice a woman walking by wearing flip-flops on the most diseased-looking pair of feet I have ever seen. Her heels were so crusted in dead skin that she looked like she had been walking in shredded coconut. Her toenails were yellowed and jagged-looking; I bet she could have used those things to climb the sheer face of a cliff. What is more, she had maybe a dozen scabs climbing up her ankles. Mercifully, she was wearing pants so I didn’t see how high up the scabs went. I don’t know this lady and I am reluctant to pass judgment on her. Yet, I cannot help but wonder if it is too much to ask that people practice some discretion in what they wear. I wonder if this lady was getting dressed this morning and said, “Hey, I bet everyone I run into wants to see my crusted-up feet!”
Another group I wonder about is people who wear flip-flops to work and to church. Don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer in dressing comfortably for work and worship. 90% of the jobs out there don’t really call for a dress or coat and tie. I also don’t buy into the “wear your best for God” mentality. Worship assemblies are not fashion shows and God is not “located” in a church building. But is it really such a burden to wear real shoes to church or work? You could even wear a decent pair of sandals, but $3 flip-flops? Are shoes so stifling that they interfere with one’s work or ability to worship? Right now I know that somebody is out there saying, “Hey, I bet Jesus wore sandals to temple!” But Jesus and his contemporaries didn’t really have a choice, did they?
Finally, even though I touched on this in my old blog, I have to say once again that I am sick of seeing fat people in skimpy clothing. Yes, I am speaking to my own kind here. There is a good reason that I wear comfort-fit clothes. I am perfectly aware that nobody wants to see my rolls, nooks, and crannies which is why I wear clothes that cover them! Why can’t other heavy people follow suit? Ignore the fashion trends; nobody wants to see the outline of your gut or the wobbly parts of your backside. Don’t believe the hype; there is nothing sexy about rolls of pasty flesh popping out of your high-cut shirt or low-cut pants or short shorts. (An aside to my fellow hairy men: enough with the tank tops! Nobody wants to see your hair vest! If you walk into a zoo like that, somebody is liable to throw a net over you.)
I leave it with you, gentle readers. Am I being ridiculous? Stodgy? Old-fashioned? What are some of the more appalling fashion mis-statements that you have seen? Comments are always welcomed.